Serious Business

I have this creeping suspicion that I should provide a sort of disclaimer, a warning perhaps to any grizzled old law enforcement officer who might be tempted to read further: “Please beware as the potential for gratuitous, youthful, even starry-eyed optimism may lie ahead.” Consider yourselves warned.

For the last few weeks it seems like I’ve been having a good many conversations about becoming a sheriff’s deputy. “That’s great!” some have said; and others have reacted with a bit more reservation when I tell them what I’m going to be doing for the next few decades of my life. “Why?” has increasingly been the question of the day.

“You know…it’ll be engaging and exciting. I might even be good at it, and you know…it really is a pretty important job…,” goes my response usually.

Yeah. I know. That last part…

Ever since I uttered it there was a felt sense of inadequacy. It seemed that there was always something missing, something more, some vast depth to the words (and the thought behind the words) that I was only touching the surface of like a breeze skimming the surface of a deep, dark lake. In the back of my mind it felt as if I were saying something (mumbling something) as an afterthought which should have been prominent, should have been shouted and proclaimed with the fervor of a Sunday morning preacher.

I was exposed to a lot today, a lot of ‘new’ and a lot of ‘exciting’ – but beyond the glimpses of arrest control classes and firearms training; beyond the briefs of law instruction and policy training; even beyond the animal-like glares that we received from the inmates in the maximum security wing of the detention center – beyond all this I was left with the ability to answer that ever-present “why” question to my own and to everyone else’s satisfaction. And it all came together as I listened to one of our coordinators.

Deputy Johnson speaks to this “why” every time he looks you in the eye, every time he launches into one of his talks centered around some variation of the “take this SERIOUS, people!” theme. I saw that Sunday morning preacher speaking today, pointing directly with an unwavering finger to that little “why” question in each of our hearts as we sat listening with wide, unblinking eyes.

“This is serious business…,” I kept thinking to myself. “Wow….this is serious.” “I think this is SERIOUS!”

Deputy Johnson’s bullet hit its mark.

Whenever that “why” question is asked of me from this point forward there won’t be any mumbling and there won’t be any hesitation. There won’t even be an explanation given, no long and intellectualized justification touching on themes of law and order, protection and service, freedom and security, rights and responsibilities; life and death even – themes which are legitimate and themes which law enforcement personnel confront with every buzz of the bedside alarm clock. Of course all of those things will be on my mind, and in my heart but none of it will be spoken aloud, none of it articulated. My questioner will simply hear perhaps an audible increase in volume and tone, and perhaps a bit of that preacher I mentioned earlier when I respond to his “Why? Why get into law enforcement, why be a cop?!?” with a smile:

“It’s serious business. It is, perhaps, the most serious of ALL businesses. That’s why.”